'If plants are so intelligent, should we stop eating them?'

[NEWSBOT]

...But what could we eat in the UK at this time of year under that regime: nuts? Wouldn’t we be depriving squirrels? Lab-created meat is still at the experimental stage and costs more than a Salt Bae gold-sprinkled steak, but is roadkill allowed? I would say breatharianism – only “eating” air – is due a revival, but it is mad, dangerous and probably a cult, so no. Alternatively, we could fly in the face of decades of medical advice and stick to stuff with no discernible relationship to anything living: the Irn-Bru diet?

My last option: learn to photosynthesise. If they are so clever, perhaps plants can teach us.